I hate when I look at a very attractive woman and imagine them being with me. I want the ACTUAL happenings of being with them. In real life, not in my imagination. Because let's be frank with the things going on in my life I really would like to take just a few moments and have a make out session with that one lovely lady. And then have her there to let practice all my stand up jokes...just to see her pretty smile. And have her gorgeous eyes stare at me in anger when I forget to pick up milk or pick her up from a place in general. Right now with you reading this you are saying "Golly gee Richard, why don't you make the first move?" Well I have...and frankly the success rate has not been Hall Of Fame quality to say the least. What also burns my hot dog buns is there are those out there saying "Lower your standards". Screw you, your standards are very different from mine. So now we got that out of the way I can continue. If I sound like an asshole maybe I should be. Since being the good guy, or 'babyface' in pro wrestling terms, is not working maybe time to do a 'heel' turn. (Heel is the bad guy in pro wrestling). But then if I do that where does that leave me? Oh that's right BACK TO BEING LONELY!
Now by no means will I give up going after that elusive attractive women to call my own. No way, quitters never win and winners never quit. But really just done with laying at night in my bed and rolling over to...nothing. Really sick and tired of just being by myself at nights. Also really need to have that someone look at me and say with that musical voice "Dude, you really need to quit bringing pro wrestling to real life." And absolutely finished with knowing that on February 14th I will, in fact, be alone instead of taking a lovely lady out and finishing the night together. Oh and also it's starting to get old looking at Aubrey Plaza and knowing I honestly can't have her next to me. Yeah I dropped that nugget on you guys. BOOM! My little pipebomb for my personal benefit. I'm losing track again. Hey look, see a lovely lady would put me back on track.
In closing let me just thank you for reading my little vent. I appreciate my readers. I do. What I don't appreciate is being lonely. This loneliness will stop AT ONCE. So if you are reading this and feel the need to help me get on that right path to love then I am all ears and hearts for it. If your Aubrey Plaza reading this sweet baby Jesus THANK YOU for reading this. And yeah, what I said about you is true. And I truly do enjoy your work. So if you have a say in this, please feel free to leave comments. That's what that "comments" icon is for. So as I leave you great people of Earth I want to one more time say this...I AM DONE WITH BEING LONELY!!
Thanks and remember: "Come for the sexy, stay for the funny." Even though there may not that much funny in this post. Ah well.